Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 6

Waiting for the

“Right Man” to Love

One day,

…a student enrolled in one of my classes requested me to read her palm. Since I was in a rush, I asked her what she wanted foremost to know. She told me to look first into her lovelife. After looking at the lines associated with this part of her life and cross-checking it with other sources, I told her that on her 26^th or 27^th year, she would meet someone who was an old flame. This man loved her once somewhere in the distant past.

Then she asked, “Ah, is he my soulmate?”

She looked very serious and I half-smiled at her. Then I replied, “Consider him one, among others, who crossed your path a few times, sometime, far back in time. In those few times that you met, at least in one lifetime, he loved you deeply.

“Will we get married?” she quickly followed up.

She was getting quite excited. I seriously answered, “The law of karma can only make you and him meet again at a certain point in time. The outcome of that meeting will definitely depend on your free will as well as on his. Such is the relationship between karma on one hand and free will on the other. Either you are scheduled to meet again to solve a problem between yourselves that has remained unsolved in a previous relationship from another lifetime or you meet again to continue an old happy love story which you have desired and have decided upon in another lifetime.”

She asked again, “But why so late, at 26 or 27? I am only 18 now and I cannot seem to wait that long.”

I paused for a while and thought about the strong tendency of young people nowadays to be impatient and impulsive. Then I told her, “In many cases, when we rush, we make mistakes. When we read a book too fast, we miss many important ideas. When we copy something too fast, we miss some words or copy wrongly. If we run too fast, the chances of tripping are higher. If we eat too fast, we get indigestion. The same is true for love. When you rush for it, when you give yourself to someone you barely know and get intimate with him right away, your chances of committing a mistake are very high. Chances are the man is only good at the beginning. Being fooled leaves a very deep wound in the heart and such a wound takes a long time to heal. It is good to be careful with matters of the heart. It is good to take time to know more of the man. So much happiness, as well as so much pain, depends on choosing the right man.”

Someone wisely said, “Take time to look for the right person as well as be the right person.”

I paused for a while, reflecting on why soulmates usually meet later in life. They meet, oftentimes, from the mid-20’s to the early 30’s.

“There is always a good reason why certain important things come to your life at a specific point in time. Perhaps, at more or less 26 to 27 years of age, both of you will be mature enough to discuss and resolve correctly certain important matters. Then the chances of successfully solving an old problem or successfully continuing an old beautiful love story are greater.

“The right person does not necessarily have to be your soulmate. Consider the fact that the last time you were together with your soulmate was many, many years ago. While you might have been very happy with him at that time, between then and now, many things also happened to him. Many things had happened to you. He could have changed. You could have changed. All people change. Some change for good, some, unfortunately, for worse. So, when you meet him now, use your mind first before listening to your heart. Remember, regardless of whether he is your soulmate or not, the right man is the one who is sincere in his intentions and who will try his best to make you happy. He will try his best to be a good husband to you and a good father to your children. Remember, the right man is anybody with the right character.”

She looked serious for a while. Then I told her I had to leave. She smiled and thanked me.

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 12

The Frog & the Fish

Someone once approached me and said, “A friend of mine whom you have helped in a way, told me that you seem to know what is beyond this world. Tell me, is there really a heaven and a hell? Are there angels and demons? Who and what is God?

“You are a Catholic. Isn’t it quite strange that you ask me whether the things you believe in are true or not? Is it not that you believe in something because you believe it to be true? But of course, those who taught you these things taught you to just believe. They told you not to find out whether they are true or not.

There are many things many people believe in which are not true. Many people believe that more money to buy more material things automatically makes one more happy. Thus, one focuses his/her life on how to get more and more money. Such a belief is not true. Beyond a certain minimum, beyond what is necessary to live a decent life, what truly matters is what you have inside of you, what you can meaningfully share with others – kindness, thoughtfulness, helpfulness, truthfulness and the courage to do what is right. The happiness one feels in the heart and in the mind as one shares these non-material things with others is far superior than the happiness one feels in the body as he/she gets more expensive things for himself/herself.”

“Understanding what is true and what is not, what is right and what is wrong in this world is easy enough. But knowing what lies beyond this world is not easy. Could you tell me then the truth regarding my beliefs? Is there really a heaven and a hell? If there is indeed a heaven and a hell, how do these places look like?” he insisted.

I smiled and said, “You think understanding what is true and what is true, what is right and what is wrong in this world is easy enough. My friend, if that were so, there would be no more or very little poverty, senseless violence, disrespect and abuse of women, exploitation and oppression in this world. Perhaps, it is easy enough. Yet, why do many people, especially among the rich and powerful, continue to do what is wrong? Why do they continue to exploit and oppress precious human lives and mindlessly plunder our natural resources? Is it easy to stop them? Of course not. It may even cost your life. But it is the duty of all those who still care to stop them.

Anyway, I can see in your impatient eyes that you really came to know whether there is indeed life after death and the worlds beyond us. Very well, there is a very old story that can answer you question. More or less, it goes this way:

A student once asked his spiritual master, “Master, what lies beyond the grave? Is there really life after death? If so, how does that ‘new world’ look like?”

The master gently smiled and said, “There were once a frog and a fish who became very good friends. The frog played with the fish in the water for sometime. Then, one day the frog left the water and went on land to get some other food and to be with his fellow frogs. After some time again, he went back to his friend, the fish.

“Where did you go?” the fish asked.

“Oh, up there in the land,” the frog answered.

Since this was the first time the fish had a frog for a friend, he became very curious and bewildered. He then asked, “What is up there? Can you swim on it?”

“No, it is not like that,” the frog replied.

“Can you drink on it?” the fish asked again.

“No, it is not like that up there,” the frog said.

The fish finally asked, “Then, how is it up there? How different is it from the waters here?”

The frog thought for a while…and then he finally said, “Even if I told you how it is up there, you cannot understand it. Just try to understand more your life here in the water and try your best to be a good fish.”

My guest kept silent and appeared to be in deep thought. After a while I said,

“I know what you are thinking of. Aside from the obvious lesson of the story that it is beyond the capability of ordinary men to know what lies beyond this world, you are also thinking about how ordinary men can go beyond their normal capabilities. You are thinking about how the fish can get out of water and still survive to see and know what land is. You believe that I know the answers but I look just like any other ordinary man.

There is something in all men and women that makes them different from all other creatures. We are all made in the image and likeness of God. We are all children of One Beloved Father. The Father gave us a soul which made us extraordinary. It is the soul that can make us go beyond our normal capabilities. Somewhere along the road of life, we got lost and totally forgot who we are.

For us to eventually know who we are, we must increase our knowledge of what is true and what is not true, of what is right and what is wrong which you find easy enough. Then you must do what is right and fight against what is wrong. Perhaps, that is not quite easy. When you have truly mastered these things, which in a way will make you quite extra-ordinary like the frog that can go into two different worlds, you know you will know the answers to the questions you ask of me.”