A People’s “Warrior and Hero”:
Fighting for “Principles”
While Enjoying Women
During younger days as a college student in the early 1970’s, I was swept along with other tens of thousands by a great tide of radical movement which called itself, the New National Democratic Movement. The main issues raised were the feudal exploitative system,
The top leaders of these three organizations were said to be men and women of very high principles and great courage, men and women willing to die for the noble cause of nationalism and democracy. They were considered real life modern day heroes who should be emulated. Any member should be willing to give up one’s resources and even one’s life for the cause and the leaders. I was then, “a loyal soldier” of this radical movement.
A few years ago, after a lecture on the Marxist view of society and history, a young student approached me and asked if I was once a radical. I smiled and said, “Yes…and I have no regrets. I learned many things about the real world.”
She told me that her father was one of the top leaders of “the people’s army”. She mentioned his name and asked me if I knew him.
I quickly replied, “Of course. Any radical would know him though I didn’t know him personally.” I was delighted to know she was the daughter of someone who was considered a legend. She asked me many more questions about the radicals’ view of society and history and about my actual experiences then. I was happy to share what I knew.
Then, she asked me a question I did not expect and could never forget. She asked, “Is it part of the theory of Marxism to allow men to have many women, to lightly consider sex, love, marriage, and family life?”
I intently looked at her face and saw her troubled and sad eyes. I felt the deep confusion in her heart and mind. Then I asked her, “Why such a question?”
With a low lonely voice, she said, “”My father has had different wives. He justifies it by saying he believes that if a man does not anymore enjoy the woman he is living with, it is time to part ways.”
I was quite shocked by her revelation. I had always thought and believed that radicals, especially the leaders, should set the best example by living a good, clean and noble life. If they made serious mistakes, they should criticize themselves and should offer to resign. But this leader did not view his little concern and respect for his wife and children as a mistake. He even thought it was right!
After gathering my thoughts for a few minutes, I told her, “Marx and Engels fought against all forms of exploitation and oppression. They loved the poor working people so much that they devoted their entire lives thinking about why so many people suffered. They courageously and uncompromisingly fought for their beliefs.
“Regarding your question, Marx and Engels believed that men and society continuously developed toward a higher and more pure form and way of life. On the continuous development of family life and sex, Engels said in his book, The Origin of the Family, State and Private Property, that there were three stages the institutions of marriage and the family passed through. The first stage called the period of savagery, held no concept of family. Consequently, there was unrestricted sexual freedom. Every woman belonged to every man and every man belonged to every woman. The next stage, the period of barbarism, held the ‘pairing marriage’. Men, though married, still owned and had sex with women slaves. Finally, with the dawn of civilization came monogamy.
“Rich and powerful men, of course, were for monogamy in theory only. In practice, they sexually exploited the most beautiful daughters of the slaves and later, of the serfs. Presently, they exploit the daughters of the poor peasants and the workers in prostitution places like beer houses and massage parlors and even the street itself.
“So, Marx and Engels believed, and I fully agree with them that we must continuously learn the lessons and the laws of history and society. We must use these lessons and laws to develop ourselves. We must practice monogamy now and strive to make it pure. More pure in the sense that men should love sincerely the women they made solemn vows to – their wives. They should stop playing around with other women’s lives to selfishly enjoy themselves. In primitive times, the basis of family and sex was primarily physical, biological, and economic. Through personal experience as well as social experiences over the centuries, men and women deepened their deepened their knowledge and practice of love. Now, love involves deep concern and care. Those in love help each other grow emotionally, mentally, and morally.
“Furthermore, a true Marxist is someone who values the lives, not only of the members of his/her family, but also his/her fellow human beings, particularly the poor, the deprived and the oppressed. Marxists do not play with people’s lives. Marxists seek and fight to radically change the unjust structure, to dismantle the concentration of wealth and power in a few so there would no longer be any poverty that forces the daughters of the working classes to sell themselves. Marxists have a deep respect for life. They treasure the many important aspects of life – love, sex, family life, relationship between friends, the bonds between fellow men and women. In short, everything that life holds dear.
“It appears that your legendary father has ideas and practices related to sex, love and family that goes back to the primitive timed when men looked at sex and family as simply a way of enjoying themselves physically. Many men, nowadays, still have that backward, primitive and exploitative view. We should not go backwards. We should move forward. Marxists, being the most advanced and forward looking persons in society in terms of scientific outlook and moral values, should move on and on in helping build the truly just and humane society.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I have also always thought that people who fight against economic and political exploitation must not necessarily exploit women like me. I once told my father, ‘Father, how can you solve the three big problems of our society, how can you unite the millions of people in solving these three problems if you cannot even solve your personal and family problems…when you can not even solve the problems of your children and unite us?”
“Is it true that Marxists do not believe in God?”
That was another unexpected question. It could be due to her bitter disillusionment with some Marxists, like her father, whose personal lives were in shambles. She attributed such a situation to Marxism’s rejection of God.
To which I answered, “There are those, especially among the rich and the powerful, who say they believe in God and yet they cheat and lie. They continue to exploit, steal the people’s money and oppress. There are those who say they do not believe in God, particularly the God of the rich and the powerful that justifies an unjust social structure, and yet they fight against injustices. They are kind, helpful, understanding. They sincerely fight for the realization of a truly just and humane society. Tell me, between these two kinds of people, who do you think follows the will of the Father?
“You should take note of the fact that if there are Christians who are really serious about their beliefs, there are also Marxists who are sincere about their beliefs. There are also those who only use Marxism for their own selfish goals. They seize power for themselves and control society for their own selfish interests. Such Marxists are wolves wearing sheepskins. This kind of Marxists dominated the former Eastern European so-called socialist countries and the former
“You still sound like a radical. Are you still a radical?”
It was my turn to be silent. Memories of I involvement flashed across my mind. After a while, I answered, “My brother died of leukemia last year. He was 45. The first symptoms of the disease were red spots on his feet. These eventually spread all over his body. The doctors he approached, when the red spots started, merely dismissed it as a skin disease. The red spots turned out to be a symptom of cancer, of leukemia.
“That wrong diagnosis cost my brother his life. By the time his sickness was correctly diagnosed, it was too late. It is so with social diseases, with social problems. It is very important that we correctly see the real root cause of the social disease. It is very important to distinguish between effects and causes. Some causes are also effects of deeper causes. In life, you can only solve a problem if you go to its ultimate root.”
“I have to go now. I have another class. Thank you again for the explanation. You clarified a few important issues in my life.”
“Thank you for sharing a delicate secret. Thank you for trusting me. Learn from the mistakes of your father. You are now a young woman and so be careful in choosing the man you will love and marry. Choose a man who will love you forever. A man who will love you even if you lost your youth and beauty. You will know that kind of man by his character, by the way he relates with people, by the amount of respect and care he gives to people. You can not know him by the way he looks or talks. It is easy to talk in a radical way and to appear so concerned about the sufferings of people but the truth will show itself in action, by the way one actually lives his life.
“Do not also be deceived by the braveness of a man in battle. There are many gangsters and mercenaries who are not afraid to kill or be killed. These kinds of people are brave because they do not value their lives or other people’s lives. They can throw their lives away anytime. The truly brave man gives up his life for the sacred reason that he loves life. He willingly fights a war against exploitation and oppression and anything else that dehumanizes man. This kind of man is brave because he values life. He loves life so much that he is willing to give up life’s most precious gift to himself – his own life, so others may have more of it.
“Marx and Engels were faithful to their good wives. They loved their wives. They practiced what they preached unlike many radicals I know…unlike your father, if I may add.
She nodded. For a while she appeared to be in deep thought. Then she got back to her senses, remembered her next class and looked at her watch. As she was almost late for her next class, she hurriedly thanked me again for the advice and left.
As I watched her walk down the hallway, I said to myself, “Indeed, legends are simply legends…half-truths, the most essential half of which is not true.”
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