Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 2

The Saturation Point

I once told a good friend of mine that he should be thinking of marriage for he was already 40. He said he still wanted to enjoy going out with different women. He believed that a man ought to get married only after he had gotten over his desire to chase after women, only after he had reached the saturation point. He believed that only then would he remain loyal to his wife. With a grin, he said, “Is this not true, my good upright friend?”

I smiled ad thanked him for his compliment. Then I said, “Some men have to go through the experience of knowing different women to find the kind of woman they are compatible with in accordance with their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses. For instance, if the man finds that they are both emotional and temperamental, the man may decide that they probably will not make a good couple. Knowing different women with different levels of maturity helps the man know the difference between love, affection, and long-term commitment, on one hand, and lust cheap thrills, one-night stands, and short-term affairs on the other hand. In the process, men deepen their knowledge of the important things worth-considering in good personal relationships. I am sure you have undergone such experiences. I am sure you have found some women more compatible and more mature than others.”

He nodded and I continued, “Some men, however, continue to chase after women out of a weakness in personality, out of a basic flaw in character, out of a basic error in outlook. They simply see women as objects of pleasure. They are only after the bodies of women. They do not care about a woman’s heart or mind. They are very selfish men. Such men do not cease the chase. They have no saturation point. They only have a pause, a rest. They will again chase women after sometime. A man stops his cheap thrills with women only after he has began to develop a respect for women much like the respect he has for his mother and sister. Man loses his lust for women only after he has matured emotionally, mentally and spiritually which means he has gradually become less selfish.

I kept silent for a while. My friend looked at me seriously. Finally, I said, “My good friend, take time to find the real reasons behind your desire to chase after women. Marry for the right reasons. When you have the right reasons and have found the right woman to love forever, do not forget to invite me.”

There was silence. After a few minutes, he happily smiled.