Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 4

Which is More Important,

Intelligence or Character?

Nowadays,

…more and more marriages are breaking apart. I once talked to an old friend whom I had not seen for many years. “What went wrong with your marriage?” I asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she said. “My husband just told me one day that he didn’t love me anymore and that he was leaving me for another woman.”

“Did you do something seriously wrong? Did you treat him well?” I asked.

She said that she had honestly looked into herself whether she had done something seriously wrong to deserve abandonment. She swore she had not done any serious mistake and that she had been, in fact, a good wife.

“If that is the case,” I said, “then it is your husband who is at fault.” It is your husband who has a basic flaw in character. If I may ask, what important characteristic of your husband attracted you most?”

“It was his intelligence. He was an honor student and he talked intelligently on many matters.”

“And what about the goodness of character, is this not more important?”

“He was also good to me, especially when he was courting me. Besides, an intelligent man knows very well what is right and what is wrong,” she replied.

In pursuit of her logic, I continued, “He knew it was wrong to leave you and the children. He did it just the same. What lessons are to be learned here, my friend?”

She was silent for a while, then she said, “Obviously, knowing what is right and what is wrong is very different from doing what is right or wrong. The person who has goodness of character will most probably do the right thing than the brilliant guy.”

Then, I added, “Being intelligent, having a sharp mind, is like having a sharp knife. You can either use the sharp knife to cut vegetables and meat, cook a good meal, and feed many people, or you can use it to harm people. On the other hand, the goodness of character is an instrument to serve people. It is thus, a good thing. In comparing the two, the good thing is definitely superior to the neutral thing. My friend, it will be good if you can share this knowledge to your children. In our society, where wealth, power, and intelligence are considered the most important things to acquire, many people do not see that the truly most important thing to aspire for is the goodness of character. A basically good and honest person will try his best to live up to his promise that for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in plenty or in poverty, he will stand by you till the end.”