On Lesbianism & Nature’s
Law on Balance and Harmony
One evening,
…an old lady friend visited me. We were together years ago at the movement foe nationalism and democracy. We had not seen each other for quite sometime. After some reminiscences of the good old days, she asked if I could do some fortune telling. I laughed a little and told her that it was not exactly fortune telling. But if there was anything she would like to know about, I would be very happy to find out what I could. A bit excited though somewhat less serious, she asked about her lovelife.
After a brief moment of silence, I asked her if she was seriously interested in pursuing the question. I told her that delicate and quite complicated issues were involved in her lovelife. Her once excited face turned serious. Somewhat challenged, she asked, “What can you really see? Tell me what you really know?”
I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “My dear friend, you asked about your future lovelife when your past and present lovelife need to be corrected. Right now, you are actually involved with someone like you, someone who is one of your kind.”
She then looked sad and confused. Still, she managed to say, “You know, I became like this only a few years ago. I became a member of a radical women’s organization. The organization gave me a series of lectures which focused on knowing yourself as a woman, on the common abuses done by men and on women’s rights.
“Later, one faction inside the organization gave me a few lectures on the kind of person we wanted to love physically, emotionally and mentally. They said that it was a matter of personal choice. They said that there was nothing wrong with having sexual relations your own kind. As they were principled women, I believed them. Later on, I became like them.”
I replied, “If a woman decides to have three boyfriends at the same time and have intimate relations with all of them, is it a matter of personal choice or is it a question of right and wrong? If a man decides to have three girlfriends, with you as one of the three, will you look at it as a matter of your boyfriend’s personal choice or will you confront him and tell him that he is fooling you, that it is a question of right and wrong? As far as I’m concerned, as far as the Truth is concerned, sexual relations between two people of the same sex is a question of right and wrong.”
“Assuming you are correct that it is a matter of right and wrong, how then do we know what is right and what is wrong?”
“That is a very good question,” I said. “Many religious people and social scientists have different views on this matter. A renowned sociology professor recently said that at present, sociology in Western countries follows a trend which views personal relationships as relative. There is no right kind nor a wrong kind of relationship. It is simply a matter of agreement between two or more consenting adults. Thus, lesbianism or gayism is a matter of personal choice as you have said. I believe otherwise.
Nowadays, due to the increasing frequency and intensity of natural disasters, more and more people are becoming aware of the “wholeness of nature”, the interrelatedness and importance of the various parts of nature. As the ozone layer continues to be destroyed, people suffer in various ways. In the Philippine context, when the rich and the powerful cut so many big trees, great floods and typhoons followed. Many people suffered and died. Many crops and other properties were destroyed. Indeed, trees play a very important role in the balance of nature. A lot of imbalances consequently lead to a lot of destruction. Such is one law on the balance of nature. This law also works on us.
“Nature made you a woman. If you accept it and play that role as you should, you will have balance and harmony. The body, the emotions, and the mind must be aligned to have peace of heart and mind. Such an alignment, such balance and harmony of the body, heart, and mind, is one of the basic things you need in order to have real and lasting happiness. Should you decide not to accept, should you decide not to play the role given to you, there will be a discord, an imbalance between your body vis-à-vis your emotions and mind. As a result, you will have deeper problems and more troubles because your balance will have been seriously disrupted. You will have no real and lasting peace of mind and heart.”
I paused for a while . . . then continued, “Another important issue here has to do with the different kinds of love we have for others and the corresponding kind of expression for each kind. Is it right for a father to show his love for his daughter by having sexual relations with her? Of course not! It is revolting, is it not? For the father must show his love for his daughter by providing her material needs as well as by guiding her to have the right values and the right outlook in life. There are other kinds of love – the love of children for their parents, love between friends, love of God, our Father Above, the love for our fellow men/women which is also called love for humanity and love for a special person with whom we want to share our life intimately for the rest of our life. This love for a special person is the only kind of love where the use of our bodies is right and beautiful. The kind of love you have for your own kind should be love between and among friends. Friends should share their problems of the heart and of the mind but should not share their bodies.”
“You argue well. Tell me, why do more and more women get involved with fellow women? Is this not a sign that lesbianism has become acceptable and possibly all right?” she asked.
“I am not arguing as if we are in a debate. I am just sharing something deep within me which I know as the source of Truth. On whether cases of lesbianism are increasing or not, I am not familiar with this issue. To say that more and more women are becoming lesbians and that this fact can mean that lesbianism is becoming acceptable and can be right, I wish to answer this point in this manner. There was a time when more and more men as well as women began to smoke cigarettes. It was then considered, the acceptable and the right thing to do. Much later of course, smoking was found to do much harm to one’s physical health. Thus, concerned people found out it was not the right thing to do.
Just because more and more people are doing one and the same thing doesn’t automatically mean that whatever they are doing is right. A certain trend can lead to a dead end or to a deep ravine. You must learn to think by yourself. Indeed, there are more lesbians now than before. It is most probably because more and more women are being fooled and abused by men. Our unjust society is so structured that those with great wealth and power indoctrinate through the mass media a great number of men o believe that women are objects of pleasure physically enjoyed with beer, alcohol, and cigarettes. For which reason, many men are merely interested in the faces and bodies of women. Men do not care about the women’s emotions and minds. Women are treated like toys with no emotions and minds. They exist only for men to play with. Once tired of playing with the same old toy, these very selfish men simply leave the woman behind. It is like discarding with an old toy. Eventually, they look for new toys to play with again.
Many women, after a sad experience or two at getting fooled, become bitter and/or afraid of men. In their confusion and fear, some of them may have turned to their own kind. We should understand them. They are the victims. We should actually condemn the men who did much to harm them. We should also condemn this unjust social system which encourages men to exploit women. We should listen to the women’s stories. Theirs are, indeed, very sad stories. Such sad experiences leave deep wounds in their hearts and minds. Such wounds take so much time to heal. We should patiently share our views and not impose these on them. Remember, ‘everything has a reason and a season’.”
I looked at her and there was a deepening sadness in her face. A few tears dropped. After a moment or so of silence, she said, “It is hard to change, my friend . . . quite hard. And, there are only a few men today who see you for what you really are. Men only see your face and your body. They do not care to see what is inside your heart and mind. Only a few men respect women nowadays.”
I nodded my head and said, “That is true. It is because of the nature of our society. But that should not stop you from ‘fixing’ your life. You must have two things to fix in your life, to have balance and harmony. You must first have wisdom to know what is right and what is wrong. In real life, in many cases we only begin to know what is right only after knowing what is wrong. Next to wisdom is the courage to follow what is right and to fight what is wrong.
Do you remember ‘the good old days’? We should continue our struggle to end the exploitation of man by man. Then and only can we finally remove the wrong values and ideas about women. Only then can all men and women have a deep respect for each other.
She said she had to go. She had an appointment. So she bade me goodbye. As she walked away, she said, “We should talk again. Thank you.”
I sympathetically smiled and said, “Thank you for trusting me with a deep secret. I would be very happy to talk with you again whenever you want to. Take good care of yourself. May you eventually find the right man.”
She looked at me with eyes that try to know the motive behind what I had said. After some seconds, she smiled. She walked away, looked back, then finally waved goodbye.
No comments:
Post a Comment