On What is Right and Wrong
I once again met a former student from sometime,, far back in time in the study of the Art of Living and Inner Wisdom. She is basically good, bright and quite frank.
After reading through the initial drafts of my notes on life she said to me, “Sir, there are some instances of right and wrong in these drafts. As this topic appears to be very important in your notes, I suggest you elaborate on this topic. Discuss further and deeper what makes something right and what makes something wrong. Many people have different ideas on what is right and what is wrong. Isn’t right and wrong relative? Does the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do depend on the person?”
She said further, “For instance, at the boarding house, one of my co-boarders does not know or care about cleanliness in the bathroom as well as the limited amount of water available. She is quite inconsiderate of the needs of other boarders. So, one evening, I told her frankly about her faults and weaknesses. Was that wrong, sir?”
“How did she react?” I asked.
“Oh, she said that it was good that I am frank about these things.”
“And what was your intention in being frank with her? Did you point out her weaknesses and faults primarily because you were angry and wanted to get even with her for depriving you of some things? Or, were you frank because you were primarily concerned with helping her know her faults and weaknesses so she could correct them and become a better person? You see, my young friend, what really matters is the motive behind your frankness. What is important is your intention. Of course, the manner of saying something also matters. How we say something, in a loud angry voice or in a mild but clear manner, is also important but it is the intention that comes first.”
“It would really be good, sir, if you discuss the general ideas on what indeed is right and wrong.”
I thanked her for the frank suggestion and told her that she would be the first to read the draft on right and wrong.
The question on right and wrong is not relative. It does not depend on one’s outlook. There are certain general laws governing life…all aspects of life follow certain laws. If you follow and flow with these laws, you will have balance and harmony. You will have peace and happiness. Following and flowing with these laws is the right thing to do.
If you eat too much fats and too much salt, if you do not exercise, if you drink too much alcohol, regardless of what your outlook in life is in general and what you’re your outlook on health is in particular, your body will eventually have diseases. You will get sick. For the body is structured in such a way that it can only take so much fats, so much salt, so much alcohol, etc. when it can no longer withstand additional amounts of these things, some vital organs will begin to malfunction. You will have violated certain laws governing the health of your body. Violating these laws is the wrong thing to do.
But physical health is quite simple to understand with regards to the topic on what is right and what is wrong. When we deal with emotional and mental health, it is not quite that simple, but the basic principles remain the same. One of the basic principles, one of the basic laws governing life is the law of interrelatedness.
The health of one’s body depends on the proper functioning of each part (organs, tissues, cells, bones, etc.) and the proper interaction of its parts. In the digestive system, for instance, the food taken must first be properly chewed, then digested by the stomach. After which, the nutrients are properly distributed through the veins with the heart pumping it throughout the body. The kidney filters the nutrients. All those that are not useful for the body are expelled. If one part fails to perform its function, the whole system suffers as each part interrelated to it can not also perform its function properly.
It is similar with our emotional and mental health. We are interrelated to many persons, the nearest of which, particularly in the formative years of our lives, are the members of our family. The interrelatedness to our family does not only have a biological aspect more importantly, it has emotional and mental aspects as well. If the interrelatedness to our parents as well as brothers and sisters is not what it should be, then our emotional and mental health is negatively affected. Just as each part of our body has a definite function to play, each member of the family also has a definite role to play. If one fails to perform that role, the other members suffer.
It is the duty of the parents to teach their children the right way of looking at life. It is also the duty of parents to teach their children good virtues they must have like kindness, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, respect for women and the elders, honesty, standing up for the truth, patience, etc. It is equally important for the parents to give love, warmth and affection to their children. It is that important and yet, nowadays, it is something taken for granted. If parents fail in performing this role, the children suffer emotionally and mentally.
Our interrelatedness to the community and society is very important. If certain important people in the community fail to perform their roles properly, the people in the community suffer. For instance, when policemen and local politicians oppress and steal the people’s money, the people obviously suffer. If the entire society has an unjust structure where so much money and power is concentrated in a greedy few there is much imbalance. There is much suffering and unrest. If we fail to do our role at a given point in time, then that is what is wrong. To perform our role well is the right thing to do.
On the social level, all ideas and actions that exploit and oppress are wrong. Such wrong ideas destroy our human interrelatedness with our fellow human beings, cutting the bonds of solidarity amongst people. Those who exploit and oppress obviously justify their actions in such philosophies like the following:
· Survival of the fittest
· White Man’s Superiority
· The
· The rich-poor situation has always been this way and it can not change
· There are only two kinds of people in this world – those who are fooled and those who fool others. Thus, it is better to fool others than to be fooled.
· Men are superior to women. Therefore, women should follow what the men like. It is normal for men to have many women and play with their bodies, etc.
· Men are polygamous by nature.
Regardless of what their beliefs are, from the point of view of the Truth, based on the law of interrelatedness, such philosophies are wrong and destructive.
Another important aspect of our life is our interrelatedness with nature. As Erich Fromm puts it, “We are a part of nature and not apart from nature.” The most obvious interrelatedness we have with nature is the physical and biological aspect. Our bodies are affected by the dangerously declining amount of clean air and waters still available. The wanton destruction of our forests have seriously destroyed the balance of nature and we pay for it in terms of more typhoons and floods.
We are not only physically hurt. Other parts of our being are also wounded when there is a great imbalance in nature. Indeed, there are some interrelatedness with nature that many people do not see but only feel. All ideas and actions that treat nature as an outside, isolated thing that can be indiscriminately used and abused, are wrong.
There is one more important general law governing life that is directly related to the topic of right and wrong. This is the law of continuous development of al things. Everything, from the simplest atom to the most complicated organism which is man, is in a ceaseless flow of movement from the simple to the complex, from the lower to the higher, from the crude to the finer forms of life.
The development of man has also been from the simplest organism to the present form. Many religious people of course do not accept
We should follow and flow with this law if we are to have balance and harmony and to realize as well our potentials. We have potentials far beyond what people normally know. Indeed, we have powers within us that normal people only dream of. We should therefore grow not only physically but more importantly, we should also grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
There are many people today whose bodies are full grown but whose emotions and minds are like those of little spoiled children. They only think of their wants, their desires, their pleasures and their false pride and image. They measure people in terms of what people can give them materially. They value only those people who feed their egos. They get mad when they do not get what they want.
There are many husbands who dictate their wives the rule they should follow or else. Such husbands do not look at their wives as someone to love, trust and respect. They look upon their wives as people whose main job revolves around giving them comfort, sex and children. Such husbands destroy the emotional, mental and spiritual development of their wives.
There are fathers who have hearts like stones. They have close minds. The fathers dictate to their children their harsh rules. They shout and whip those who violate the rules. They never bother to know the children’s feelings and ideas about the rules nor do they allow them to honestly reason out. Such fathers stunt the emotional, mental and spiritual growth of their children.
All thoughts and actions that help us and others grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually are the right things to do while the reverse of course are the wrong things to do. On the situation shared by my former student regarding her boardmate’s faults and weaknesses, if the intention is to help the boardmate become a better person, to help her grow emotionally and mentally by having more consideration for the needs of others, then she did the right thing. If such intention were absent, no matter how nice she said it, she did the wrong thing.
If I may give a Taoist example, in the law of continuous development, fathers beget sons. After a time, sons in turn get married and become fathers. The father must follow and flow with this law of development by preparing their sons to become good, responsible and loving fathers. Fathers should teach their sons to follow and flow with this law of continuous development.
This law of continuous development also covers the development of societies. Not only have the societies since the time of the stone age man continuously progressed economically and technologically. Societies have also continuously progressed politically and culturally. Slaves whose lives could be taken by their masters, have won their freedom. Many other freedoms have been won by other oppressed working people, paid for in blood for sure. There are also many new forms of enslavement. To follow and flow with the general movement of continuous development, we should contribute in uncovering and dismantling the new ways of enslavement perpetrated by the rich and powerful over the working people.
The development of societies have been marked by struggles between exploiters and exploited, oppressors and oppressed. In the process of social development, the exploited and oppressed have learned more about how social relations are formed. They learned more and more about the laws governing society. They continuously deepened their understanding of their rights and of their rightful place in society.
In the never-ending struggles of man with nature to primarily answer his material needs, man has learned more and more properties of nature. As we have rapidly advanced in science and technology, much food, clothing, building materials, medicines and other different types of goods are now being produced. Yet, the fruits of such scientific and technological advancement do not wipe out mass poverty for the fruits are owned only by the rich and the very powerful few.
People are different from other living things. We can know what is right and what is wrong. We can heal our wounds in the heart and in the mind. We can fight back to get what is rightfully ours and radically restructure society that it may be truly prosperous, just and humane for all.
We should increase our awareness of our interrelatedness with our fellow men and women with nature. We should transform this awareness into actions that further deepen and broaden our balance and harmony with nature and with our fellow men and women. We should think and do things that will make us and others grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
We should continuously develop ourselves. On the personal level, we should analyze our important experiences and find out the lessons we must learn. These lessons will guide us to become better persons. On the social level, we must analyze important historical situations and learn the lessons of history. These historical lessons will guide us in the building of a society where all men and women live decently and have trust, respect and deep concern for each other. This is the right way of looking at life. It flows and follows the law of continuous development. These two general laws governing life, interrelatedness and continuous development, determine what is right and what is wrong.
I guess I have to thank my former student for frankly telling me to elaborate on this topic. Her name is Raquel. The last time I saw her, quite a long time ago, she was a good student in the study of the Art of Living and Inner Wisdom. She is beginning to get interested again in continuing our studies which had began then. I believe she will again be a good student just like the last time.
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