Past Lives and Present Life:
Understanding the Roots of One’s Problems
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ne subject I teach is Asian history. Consequently, I discuss the major Asian philosophies/religions of Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Christianity and Islam. Karma and reincarnation are common beliefs of Buddhism and Hinduism. Whenever I discuss these topics, I tell my students that I know these things out of direct knowledge. I share a few things about what happened to me sometime in 1994 in which one of the extra-ordinary knowledge and skill that I acquired was I began to know my past lives. Thereafter, I correct many wrong ideas of Hinduism. The caste system as supposedly a result of the karma of people in their past lives is a lot of nonsense. To say that the poor people of today are poor and miserable because of bad karma in their past lives and that they should endure their bad karma of being poor throughout their life now is a big lie used to justify the continued domination of the few rich and powerful elite over the masses. A prevailing social structure is a result of the actual relative strengths of different social forces fighting for their economic and political interests. Jesus Christ and Muhammed were born poor, sons of ordinary working people but they were Spiritual Teachers/Masters, enlightened exactly like the Lord Gautama Buddha. Gautama was born rich and powerful but he gave up these things when he became enlightened, partly to show that a man’s worth should be determined by the kind of ideas, values and character he has. A person with wrong ideas and values, who does bad things is a bad, inferior person regardless of his caste or class. Similarly, a person with right ideas and values, who does good things is a good, superior person no matter what caste or class he belongs to. Thus, a man’s worth is measured not by his status in birth and most definitely not by his past lives. It is nonsense to say that Jesus and Muhammed had bad karma before that is why they were born poor.
It is also not true that if you live a very bad life, you can be reborn as an animal or even as an insect. Once you are a human being, you will always be born as a human being. As I explain it, life in this world is like one big school. You are here to take up a Course which can simply be called, How to be a Good Person. Like many other courses, there are subjects to take up. Some basic subjects are how to be a good son/daughter, a good boyfriend/girlfriend, a good husband/wife, a good parent, a good friend, a good neighbor, what is the right way of looking at sex, money and power, etc. The subjects that you failed, you will have to take them up in your next lives. So, how can you study the subjects you failed if you become an animal or an insect? Can an insect study how to be a good husband or a good friend? Of course not!
One interesting question that is occasionally asked is whether a woman today could have been a man in his past lives and vice-versa. If yes, is this one basic reason why some homosexuals or lesbians feel they are already born that way? Again, if you failed in being a good husband and a good father, how can you take up these subjects again if you become a woman? You cannot and that is why, once you have become a man, you will always reincarnate as a man. Similarly, once you have become a woman, you will always reincarnate as a woman. Furthermore, on the spiritual level, there is actually no gender, i.e., the Soul has no sex, at least not in the physical sense as we know it here in this world. The Soul retains many of the emotional and mental qualities it has acquired from its experiences in this world. It also acquires many other experiences elsewhere beyond this world.
Then I share many actual cases I have encountered in which the present skills, knowledge, interests and problems of people are rooted in their past lives. I discussed a few of these cases in the other articles in this book. I wish now to discuss this story about a former student of mine who wanted to know if her past lives have something to do with the present big problem she has regarding her lovelife.
A year ago, sometime in late 1997, one female student approached me during lunch time. She asked if I can know whether her current problems are rooted in her past lives. I asked her, “Can you please share what your personal problem is all about?”
She was a beautiful young woman, a Spanish-Filipina mestiza, around 20 years old. With sad eyes and looking quite tense, she said, “I am actually a single mother. I already have a 4 year old son. You see, I come from a broken family. My father left my mother when I was in third year high school. I was so bitter and confused when my father and mother separated.
To sort of forget all my family problems, I went out to parties, discos, outings and other gimmicks. Modesty aside, I was a beauty queen in our school. I won the beauty contest in our entire high school which was a very big school. I had a lot of suitors. I didn’t want yet then to have a boyfriend because I felt too young to have one at 15. But, I felt so lonely in the house. I decided to have a boyfriend. He was handsome and dressed smart. Well, I went out with him overnight many times. Then, I got pregnant. My mother forgave me. She even said that she would support me and my child as long as she can. I guess, because of what happened to her and my father, she did not force my boyfriend to marry me. Marriage did not seem that important to her anymore.
My boyfriend said that his parents could not afford it if we live in their house and have a family. So, my boyfriend stayed with me in my mother’s house. He did not change. He was still happy-go-lucky, staying most of the time with his barkada. He did not do anything to earn some money to help my mother in the hospital expenses when I gave birth. He did not even contribute anything for the needs of our newborn child. As I saw that he was a bad husband and a bad father, I told him to get out of my mother’s house. He left just like that.
I had another boyfriend a year ago. He was sort of good to me but he did not like me to bring my child whenever we would go out. I would have a good time every weekend then watching movies with him, eating outside with him, dancing in discos and other gimmicks. But, sometimes when I come home and see my child, I would feel guilty and cry. I would tell myself, “My child needs me. It’s not right for me to have fun alone. He needs also to go out and have fun. I should spend more time with him.”
After around two months, I told myself, “If my boyfriend cannot accept my child, if he cannot love my child, then I cannot really be happy with him. My child is very important to me.”
So, one day I told my boyfriend that if we are going out again, I want to bring along my child. He refused. He said, “Pang-gulo lang iyan! We won’t enjoy if you take him along.”
I frankly told him that I love my child and he also has to love my child. If he cannot love my child, then it is better for us to break up. He said it’s fine if I want to break up . Just like that. Tell me sir, is this some kind of karma to me? Is there something very wrong that I did in my past lives that I am suffering this way? Why do I meet the wrong kind of men? My father is a womanizer. Some people say that I may be paying for the bad karmic debts of my father’s fooling of women. Is this true?”
“Our present situation is determined by three factors - our family upbringing, our social environment and our past lives,” I replied. “Before we look into the causes of your present problems in your past lives, we must first find out the possible causes from your present life. We must first try to find out the roots of your problems from your family upbringing and/or social environment.
You see, everything is learned, everything is acquired. If you know now how to read, write and count, it is simply because you studied it in school. A teacher taught you. An illiterate does not know how to read and write because nobody taught him/her. And so, the illiterate makes mistakes when he/she tries to read or write by himself/herself. Tell me, did your father teach you how to choose the right man to love? Did he teach you how to know whether a suitor is really a good man or just pretending to be a good man? Did you teach you about the most important quality of a man? Is it his good looks, good social status, good character or his high intelligence?
She shook her head and then said, “No, he never discussed such things. Well, I don’t think many fathers also discuss such things with their daughters.”
“Your father did not discuss these things with you mainly because he was not qualified to teach these things. He is uneasy with such topics because as you said, he was a womanizer. When he courted other women, he pretended to be a good man when in fact, he was not. A good man does not betray his wife and play with other women’s lives. So, because he failed to teach you, you do not know how to choose the right man to love. Furthermore, you failed to teach yourself on who is the right man to love and how to really get to know him. So, you were bound to make the mistake of choosing the wrong man to love.
Then, as you said in your story, you made that first big mistake on choosing that man who was irresponsible when your parents broke up. You said you were confused and bitter at that time because your father finally left you and your mother. Again, it is normal to make mistakes of judgment when you are emotionally unstable.
Our social environment also added a lot to your mistakes. Let me give you one example. The mass media promotes consumerism so much that people concentrate on how to look good and not how to think good.
You know, one time my son, a grade 5 pupil in a private Catholic school, requested me to buy him a pair of rubber shoes worth around P 5,0000 because it was branded name. I asked why he wanted to buy such a very expensive rubber shoes. He told me having such shoes would make him famous among his classmates, especially among his friends. I told him, “You know son, if you want to be known in school, be known for your goodness of character and not because of expensive rubber shoes. You are a Christian. Christ should be your model. Christ became famous because of the good ideas and values that he taught and showed by example. He was remembered for the goodness of his character. Christ did not concern himself with wearing expensive clothes or sandals.
If we have extra money we can consider buying the rubber shoes you want but you should not be obsessed with it to become famous. And you should not choose your friends base on the things they wear but base on their character, on whether they have good or bad character.” Thus, many men today just focus on looking good with women. Many men are not interested in studying the good and right ideas about women.
The mass media, like the movies, magazines, tabloids, glorify sex and violence. Thus, many men look at women as sex objects, as things to play with and no longer as human beings with feelings and with minds. Unfortunately, you ended up with such men.
Your father’s karma is non-transferable. The law of karma is such that the person who does good or bad is the only person who will get back the effects of such actions. One such karmic effect of playing with women’s lives, is that the man loses his life-energies, his life-forces faster than the normal rate. You would see that he would grow old
faster, especially in his late fifties and sixties. More importantly, such persons would have no real peace of mind unless of course, he sincerely repents and drastically changes his wrong ideas about women.
One last point. It’s true that many fathers nowadays do not consciously teach their daughters how to choose the right man. It appears that many parents today consider themselves too busy for such talks. For other parents, it does not even cross their mind that these are important things to talk about. The problem is further complicated because many young women do not introduce their suitors and even their boyfriends to their parents. They also do not seek their parents’ opinions about their suitors’ behavior or their boyfriend’s character. This is one main reason why many women make mistakes in choosing their boyfriends and their husbands.
It is the duty of parents to teach their children how to choose the right man/woman to love. Young people in turn should seek the views of their good parents on such an important, delicate matter. In life, whenever there is something that we do not know much about, we should seek the views of those who know more about it. We should be honest about what we know and what we do not know. Parents of course should only give advice. They should not impose their views when their children are old enough to analyze by themselves and decide by themselves.”
She said she just recently had a new boyfriend. Her new boyfriend apparently loves her child. He plays with him and always brings his child along whenever they go out on weekends. She believes that her present boyfriend is the right man to love and marry. She asked if I could check it somewhere up there with her spiritual guides if indeed he is the right man to love and marry.
I sympathetically smiled at her and said, “Give me around 10 minutes to consult those up there who have volunteered to take good care of you.”
After 10 minutes, I told her, “As I have lectured in our class, this world is like one big school. We are here to study many things and learn many lessons about how to be a good person. Our parents are suppose to be our first teachers who would teach the basic right ideas and good values. In your case, your father failed to do his role. In such a situation, you just have to teach yourself. It is much more difficult if there is nobody teaching you these things in the same manner it is much more difficult to study writing and reading by yourself. But, generally, it is hard only in the beginning just like riding a bicycle. As you discuss these issues with your mother, friends, relatives, as you observe other people’s lives and read some good books, as you take down notes on life, it will later become simple to understand. As in learning to ride the bicycle, once you get to balance yourself, suddenly it becomes much easier to ride it.
A few important lessons you have to learn connected with your problem is first - in looking for the right man to love, which aspect between looks, social status, intelligence and character is the most important to you in having a happy relationship and why? Second, how can you know the real character of the person? Is this easy or not?
If a student is given a homework, and he lets another friend do all his homework, will he learn much from his homework? If I tell you all the answers about these few important lessons you must study, you will not learn much. Besides, that would make me a bad teacher.
So, get a notebook. Study your relevant experiences and take down notes. Study also other people’s relevant experiences. Exchange notes on lovelife with your friends, relatives, neighbors, classmates. You can start with your mother. Ask her what went wrong with her relationship with your father. Inquire what qualities of your father did she consider the most important in deciding to marry him. Know why she was not able to find out the bad quality of her father being a womanizer. Call me up after a few months and share with me your homework. I will also share other things I have learned about this topic. Thereafter, I will give you other homeworks. In this way, you learn from me, I learn from you and we both become a little bit wiser than before.
Remember, the most important thing you must realize now is that you must seriously study these things. You must take down notes if you want to learn the lessons, pass the test and live a happy life. There is no other way of finding the right man to love and marry. There is no such thing as fate, destiny, letting cards or the stars decide for you who to love and marry. We decide for ourselves, we make our own lives. If you have the wrong ideas and the wrong values about life, you will choose the wrong man to love. You will have a lot of problems. If you have the right ideas and the right values about life, you will choose the right man to love. Then, your lovelife will have a happy ending.
Oh, your spiritual guides told me that your present boyfriend is basically a good man. You are not in danger of being maltreated. That is all I can say for now. As I said, you must do the rest of the homework. My duty for now is just to find out if you are in danger of being fooled and of being traumatized again. Study also other factors that are important in having a good, happy personal relationship like compatibility.
She looked at her watch. It was one o’ clock. She told me she had to leave right away because she has a class at 1:00 PM. As she stood up to leave, I said, “Oh, regarding your past lives, in relation to your problem now, you also failed the last time in choosing the right man to love. I hope you will pass it this time. See you after 3 months.”
She warmly smiled and said, “I will buy a notebook today and I will see you again in 3 months.”
I felt happy. A good student is always a source of joy for a teacher.
September 1997
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