Sunday, February 10, 2008

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 11

On a “Moment of Weakness” and

The Breaking of a Beautiful Vase



I once attended a history conference in the province. During the morning break, a woman in her late twenties approached me and asked if I remembered meeting her. I replied that most probably, she was a former student of mine. She smiled and said that indeed it was some ten years ago. I shook her hands as I asked how life had been since I last saw her. We shared a few stories and a few reminiscences.

While I asked about what happened to some of her classmates, a young beautiful child, between five to six years of age, approached her and held her hand. I asked if the child was hers. She said yes. I inquired about her husband. She said that her husband was working abroad. I commented that the child was more beautiful than her. She laughed. At this juncture, the emcee of the program announced that the break was over and that the program will commence in a few minutes. I told her that it was so nice to see her again and we parted ways.

At lunch break, she sat by the table next to mine. When lunch was over, I joined her at her table and we resumed the discussion on the lives of her former classmates. In the course of our conversation, a troubling thought crossed my mind. I told her, “There is something serious I want to tell you about. Your husband loves you very much and he is working hard to give you and your daughter a good future. You have no problem with him. Your family right now may be likened to a beautiful flower vase with beautiful flowers in it.

“Because of certain unplanned circumstances, you saw again an old flame, a former classmate. It now appears that there are a few sparks beginning, so to speak. It may lead to a flame again. A single mistake, a moment of weakness, can make the vase fall and break. It will be very difficult to put the broken pieces back again, and restore it to its original beauty. Of course, with courage, sincerity and love, the vase can be made beautiful again. Painting it with new and different bright colors may cover the cracks. But, it is a lot better, a lot wiser not to break the vase in the first place so that much pain can be avoided.”

She appeared a bit shocked and said, “How could you know these things? Could you read minds? Could you see auras or something like that?”

“If I told you how I could do it, would that knowledge help you in any way? Focus on what I said. In your case, let the past belong to the past so you could still remember it as beautiful as it was before. The part of your past no longer has a right place in the present. Only if you are no longer happy with your husband for good reasons, of course, it is right for you to seek happiness in somebody’s arms. Till then, I advise you to think ten times before you decide to break the vase.”

She said that her nights were lonely and cold. She also needs warmth. I replied, “Seek warmth from your daughter, from your own family, from your friends and other loved ones. If that is not enough, I suggest that you talk with your husband and discuss what is more important: a whole happy family together with less money or a family with more money but with a greater possibility of breaking up. Be open to him. That is the right way to solve your problem.”

As the afternoon program commenced, she thanked me and asked if she could see me again for some further talks. I happily gave her my phone number and said that it was a privilege to be of help to people.

The conference ended late in the afternoon. As I was about to take a bus home, she approached me and asked once more, “How did you know my situation, really?”

I smiled and said, “When it is time for you to know, I will tell you. Meanwhile, focus on what I have said.”

She respectfully smiled and waved goodbye as the bus began to move away.

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