Notes on Life and Learning Lessons: A note from the Author and Introduction

A Note from the Author

This is my first book. It is the kind of book many of my friends will not expect me to write. It is the kind of book I have never expected to write. Not until mid 1994.

In a small humble house, in an ordinary rural setting, I met a simple looking man. The man said that I was ready, in fact a few years delayed, for what I had to do. In an hour or so, he did something to me that forever changed the course of my life. That man was, in fact, a spiritual sage. From thereon, the puzzles and unusual experiences I encountered a number of times earlier became clear. I came to know who I really am and what I can be. I learned new kinds of knowledge and some skills which were commonly termed extraordinary.

A few months after that incident, one of the have to do’s became clear. I should help people analyze their important problems and experiences. I should help them find the lessons they should learn. Guided by the analyses and the lessons learned, they would see how to fix their lives. As they begin to see the right way of looking at life, they begin to grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

This book contains some of my interactions with these people. It also contains a few discourses on certain basic topics. Each interaction and discourse composes one “note on life” in this book. In view of the contents, I thought it best to entitle this book Notes on Life and Learning Lessons. Initially, I had no intention of writing the interactions. Late last year, I thought of writing them down in the hope that other people may find something useful and meaningful from them.

There is a general pattern in the development of these “notes on life”. The notes begin with simple issues and experiences. Beginning with note on life #15, the discussion and experiences become more and more focused on deeper and complex issues. The final note on life lesson #25 provides the general context and central of the book.

This general progression of topics, from a lower to a higher level of understanding life, from simple truths to deeper truths, is also a reflection of my own development of my own development in studying the “Ancient Knowledge of the Art of Living and Inner Wisdom”. This Ancient Knowledge is available to anybody who has a sincere and serious intention as well as the determination to know the meaning and purpose of life. I will soon be sharing this Ancient Knowledge, the Wisdom of the Spiritual Masters in a more formal way to anyone interested to anyone interested. I will be very happy to share all that I know.

Finally, I would like to express my sincerest thanks to the following people for their valuable contribution in the making of this book:

(1) the artists who shared their skills in drawing the sketches in particular Amor, Jun, Maike, and Sheibert. Their sketches and more importantly, their kindness have truly enriched this book;

(2) my good friend Francis who helped in the production;

(3) Rico Azicate, a co-teacher at UP, for my photograph;

(4) all those who shared their personal problems and experiences with me. I am honored for the trust and respect you gave.

(5) Emiliana U. Enriquez, the editor, I am very grateful for her special contribution. It was not by chance that she edited this book.

There are many excellent books on this Ancient Knowlwedge. There will always be Spiritual Teachers and Masters who will speak of this Knowledge. This is my way of presenting this Knowledge.

I sincerely hope that those who would come across this book will later find the time to take note of their experiences and the lessons to be learned. If the readers will do this, then this book would have served its purpose.

August, 1995

Introduction to the American International Edition

Sometime in the middle of 1994, I had a very unusual spiritual experience. A professional electrical engineer, with academic credentials equivalent to a doctorate degree in electrical engineering, told me I was ready to do what I have to do, that it was time to do my “mission”. There were risks, tests, he said that I have to undergo later to acquire the right to have unusual knowledge and skills. He did something to me for about an hour. He was sort of concentrating. I saw and felt nothing unusual with what he was doing except that I felt a certain kind of heat, a sort of some surge of energy throughout my body. After that, he wished me good luck.

Since then, many unusual things have happened to me. I began to know faster and more systematically, the right way of looking at problems, at issues, at relationships, etc. in conversations, I would share the right way of looking at a topic. Thereafter, people began to seek my advice on their problems. I began to know the real meaning and purpose of life not from books or other people’s ideas but from the same Sources other past and present Spiritual Teachers and Masters drew wisdom and inspiration from.

The meaning and purpose of life can simply be stated in this way:

The world is like one big school. We are all here to study “The Course”, which we can call, How to be a Good Person. Like many other courses such as Computer Science, Medicine, Engineering, Law, the Arts and Sciences, etc., there are subjects to take up. Some basic subjects we have to take up in “The Course” are how to be, a good son/daughter, a good brother/sister, a good friend, a good boyfriend/girlfriend, a good husband/wife, a good parent, how to stand up and fight for what is right and how to recover from bad, bitter experiences. Other subjects have to do with the right way of looking at sex, money, power, as well as the right use of such things. Like other ordinary subjects, we should take notes if we are to pass the tests. For instance, when young men come and tell me that they want to learn what I have known, I tell them they could begin by studying how to be a good boyfriend. I instruct them to buy a notebook, list down all the wrong and bad things they are doing to their girlfriends. Better, they should ask their girlfriends what they think are the wrong things they have been doing to them. Then I tell them to find out where they learned such wrong ideas and practices in looking at and in treating women in general and their girlfriends in particular. They should then avoid the things and/or people that had bad influences on them. Then, they should list down also all the right ideas and practices they should have compared to the wrong ideas and practices they are doing. Finally, they should write detailed, concrete ways to correct the wrong, bad ideas and practices.

They should also write the right things they are doing to their girlfriends. Similarly, they should also trace the roots where they got such right, good ideas and practices. They should continue to read such kind of good materials and/or continue their relationships with those good people who had good influences on them. Finally, they should think of good ways on how to further develop the right, good ideas, and practices. Then, I tell them to call me up when they are ready with their answers for us to schedule a sharing session of their answers. In this way, we learn valuable lessons from our own experiences and from other people’s experiences on the subject how to be a good boyfriend. It is also in this context why the book is entitled, “Notes on Life & Learning Lessons”.

Many people might find this presentation of life’s meaning and purpose as too simple. But, the basic truths are really simple. There are no very deep, complicated philosophical ideas involved. However, if I may ask, how many people take the time to seriously and systematically find out the wrong things they are doing to others, especially to their loved ones? Furthermore, how many consciously strive and succeed in developing the will, the courage to correct the wrong things?

Very few people do these things because our society teaches us that we must focus our lives on our careers, on earning more to buy more and as the logic goes, to become happier. Thus, we only seriously and systematically study things related to our work. There are no longer serious and systematic efforts to study how to become a good friend, a good neighbor, a good husband/wife, a good father/mother, on the right way of looking at sex, money, power, etc. Yet, deep down inside every person, he/she believes that it is very important to become a good friend, a good husband/wife, a good father/mother, etc. but still, very few take the time to study these things.

Somewhere along the way, as you pass many subjects of “The Course”, you will meet Someone who will show you other deeper truths of life for by then, you would have earned the right to directly know other unusual things. This is the Path I went through. This is the Path anybody who sincerely aspires to know the real meaning and purpose of life must go through. There are no shortcuts. There is no other path.

This is my first book where I share what I have known as the right ideas and values on the various issues of life – the right way of looking at people, at women, at sad and bitter experiences, at religions, at dreams, at lesbianism, at revolutionary movements and leaders, at karma and reincarnation, at psychic healing and so-called spiritual teachers, at what is right and wrong, etc. These are my “notes on life” a year after my unusual spiritual experience. I first published this book in my country (Philippines) in October 1995.

As we go on thru life, if we regularly take down “notes on life”, we will have more knowledge on the right way of looking at life. We will have higher realizations in life. The next major stage I realized is that in every experience, in any problem, there is always a right and wrong analysis. The wrong analysis leads to a wrong conclusion and one learns the wrong lessons. In this manner, experience becomes the worst teacher. Accordingly, the right analysis leads to the right conclusions and the right lessons to learn. Then, experience becomes the best teacher. For example, a person fooled by another person could analyze his/her experience by thinking that there are basically two kinds of people in this world – those who fool others and those who get fooled. Then, he will conclude that it is better to fool than to get fooled. Thus, his experience has taught him/her a very wrong, bad way of looking at life. Experience, wrongly analyzed, had become the worst teacher. The right analysis is that getting fooled is a bad, painful experience and that therefore, fooling people is a very bad thing. We should not fool and hurt people. One should help in stopping bad people from fooling others. Thus, this experience has taught him a right, good way of looking at life. Experience, rightly analyzed, has become the best teacher.

Some of the “notes on life” I took down after writing this book involved the right analysis of common problems related to sex, love, and happiness. This will be the focus of my second book, “Some Notes and Lessons on Sex, Love, and Happiness”. It is almost finished. I plan to publish it by September 1998.

I wish to give heartfelt thanks to the following people who helped in making this American International edition possible:

1. First to my mother, Pilar M. Aragon, who funded partly this book out of love for me and for believing in my ideas.

2. To my wife, Victoria, for helping me convince her relatives to invest. To my wife’s relatives, Uncle Pete & Auntie Precy, Peter, Butch and Linda, Agnes and Dan, Babet, Dr. Cirilo & Rose Farinas, Riza, Noemi, who invested because they believed in the importance and relevance of this book.

3. Special mention to Ma. Rizalina Lacsamana, my niece-in-law at Chicago, U.S.A., who persistently followed up the publishing of this book by AEGINA PRESS, Inc. I wish to thank her a lot also for the many long distance calls she never charged me in following up the publication of this book. Special thanks also to my brother-in-law Butch Lucina who also followed up the publication of the book.

4. Lastly, my heartful thanks to AEGINA PRESS, Inc. and University Editions, for publishing this book. In particular, my special, most heartful thanks to Mr. Ira Herman, managing editor, for believing that this kind of book deserves to be published in the U.S.A.

One last point. All of us have right and wrong ideas about life because everyone has right and wrong experiences in life. Furthermore, we also acquire right and wrong ideas from the social environment. Our first goal then is to find out the right and wrong ideas we have about life in general and about the many important aspects of life in particular. To correct our wrong ideas, we must first open our minds, examine which ideas are right and which are wrong. Part of examining our ideas is being also open to new ideas. But the new ideas can be right or wrong. Thus, we always have to be critical, we should always study carefully the old ideas we have acquired as well as the new ideas we encounter. We should retain only what is right. Indeed, to deepen our knowledge of right and wrong, we should be open-minded and critical.

The Father Above gave each and everyone of us a mind. We should use it and not let somebody else use it. Furthermore, we should use it correctly. We should not blindly believe something/someone. We should avoid fanaticism of every kind. We should carefully analyze old and new ideas before believing. And even after believing something at one point in time, we should still continue to test whether what we have believed in before is really correct or not. This is the right attitude in reading books like this. Such an attitude is the starting point of spiritual wisdom. Such wisdom, together with the will to do what is right and having unselfish love for others, will show you the Path that leads to real and lasting happiness.

Introduction

Some books of this kind have been written in different parts of the world. Though its purpose is a kind of spirituality, it does not purport to be religious. It appeals to the reader because it is not a “lie” like fiction. It is an experience; it is real. Notes on Life is about experience. To read is to experience experiences.

The author of the book is Danilo M. Aragon, born on 1 September 1953. His significant memories were those of a humorous, principled, sports-oriented, patient, and understanding father and a very kind and generous mother. The late Philippine Air Force Col. Pedro C. Aragon, Jr. was his father. Pilar M. Aragon is his mother. Home life provided Danilo Aragon traditional values of respect for women and elders, honesty, helpfulness, and integrity which he upholds till now. Years at De La Salle University, from elementary to college, instilled in him the Christian outlook of being seriously concerned with social problems like mass poverty, graft and corruption, and decadent values.

His involvement in the National Democratic Movement widened and deepened his knowledge of Philippine history and society. It gave him an opportunity to know first-hand the problems of workers, peasants, urban poor and minorities. He interacted with these people in the common search for a truly just and humane society. The Marxist tenet on the equality of woman with man underscored Aragon’s respect, affection, appreciation, and attraction to the opposite sex. To value life, all forms of life and to refrain from its indiscriminate use are echoes from both Marxist and Christian/Catholic ideology which find completion in his work and outlook.

Immersion in history has opened wide avenues for the study of various beliefs and religious scriptures. A major Asian religious belief notably permeated the pages of this book. Reincarnation is real and traceable. Reincarnation has a purpose – perfection. Man has a goal – to join his Creator, the Soul.

“Enlightenment becomes possible when we study our experiences and learn the lessons from them,” Danilo Aragon remarked. He is on the road, willing every single moment to achieve what should be. He stumbled upon his impetus in August of 1994. The same clarified, classified, and declassified all observed data, information, teaching and beliefs from childhood hence. A new dimension has been added to his thoughts, actions, and decisions.

The book contains segments of the diverse dimensions Danilo Aragon has perceived and employed. The stories range from the personal to the most private. The observations and evaluations are done with the intent to “help”, “to be of service.” As is the purpose of this book, it is the author’s only goal. He has not gone very far from his vocation. He teaches his own version of the truth.

Emiliana U. Enriquez, MA

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 1

Which is Bigger,

The Moon or the Star?

One night,

…my two young children and I took a stroll along the park.

The moon was almost quite full, the stars twinkled and there were only a few clouds. It was a lovely evening. I told my two kids to look at the nightblue sky and see the beauty of the moon and stars. Then I asked them, “Which do you think is bigger, the moon or the star?”

They immediately replied, “The moon, of course, is bigger!”

“Because that is what your eyes see. But let us do a little experiment.”

I told my younger son, Albert, who was six, to stay put in one place. I positioned his older brother, Allen, some 20 yards away. I stood 200 yards away from Allen. Then I loudly asked Albert, “Who looks smaller to you, Allen or me?”

He answered, “You look smaller Father.”

I asked again, “Who is farther from you?”

Albert answered, “You, father”.

Allen and I went back to Albert. Standing close to each other, I asked Albert, “Who is now actually bigger, me or Allen?” He said, “You, father.”

“I am like a star that appears smaller only because I am farther away. A star,” I said, “is much bigger than the moon but it looks so small because it is very, very far away.”

As we continued the leisurely stroll, I thought of sharing an idea or two about the real world. It is the duty of fathers to gradually prepare their children to see the world as it is – a world with good men as well as bad men. Many good men do not always look good while many bad men try their best to look good. It is also a world of so much beauty as well as one of so much poverty and injustices. Furthermore, it is the duty of fathers to inspire their children to contribute what they can make our world a better place to live in especially when the children have grown. Fathers can best inspire their children by setting an example of honesty, helpfulness, kindness, understanding, responsibility, and steadfastness on matters of principle.

We stopped for a while then I said, “Sometimes, what you see is not what you think it is.” Some people dress nicely and behave smoothly. The nice dress and the smooth behavior do not necessarily mean that they are good people. Some of them are corrupt. They cheat, they steal and they lie. Some speak fluently and convincingly but they are actually liars. Some do not have fine clothes to wear because they are simple workers but they are good and honest. Remember, The Father Above gave us eyes to see. He also gave us a mind to look deeper into what we must see. We must use both to know the truth.”

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 2

The Saturation Point

I once told a good friend of mine that he should be thinking of marriage for he was already 40. He said he still wanted to enjoy going out with different women. He believed that a man ought to get married only after he had gotten over his desire to chase after women, only after he had reached the saturation point. He believed that only then would he remain loyal to his wife. With a grin, he said, “Is this not true, my good upright friend?”

I smiled ad thanked him for his compliment. Then I said, “Some men have to go through the experience of knowing different women to find the kind of woman they are compatible with in accordance with their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses. For instance, if the man finds that they are both emotional and temperamental, the man may decide that they probably will not make a good couple. Knowing different women with different levels of maturity helps the man know the difference between love, affection, and long-term commitment, on one hand, and lust cheap thrills, one-night stands, and short-term affairs on the other hand. In the process, men deepen their knowledge of the important things worth-considering in good personal relationships. I am sure you have undergone such experiences. I am sure you have found some women more compatible and more mature than others.”

He nodded and I continued, “Some men, however, continue to chase after women out of a weakness in personality, out of a basic flaw in character, out of a basic error in outlook. They simply see women as objects of pleasure. They are only after the bodies of women. They do not care about a woman’s heart or mind. They are very selfish men. Such men do not cease the chase. They have no saturation point. They only have a pause, a rest. They will again chase women after sometime. A man stops his cheap thrills with women only after he has began to develop a respect for women much like the respect he has for his mother and sister. Man loses his lust for women only after he has matured emotionally, mentally and spiritually which means he has gradually become less selfish.

I kept silent for a while. My friend looked at me seriously. Finally, I said, “My good friend, take time to find the real reasons behind your desire to chase after women. Marry for the right reasons. When you have the right reasons and have found the right woman to love forever, do not forget to invite me.”

There was silence. After a few minutes, he happily smiled.

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 3

On Forgiving

And Moving On

I once met a good old friend. We had not seen each other for 12 or 13 years. She helped my wife and me in a construction project near her town in Bicol. She was actually a good friend of a good friend. She treated us like her own younger brother and sister. A great Teacher of Life once said, “return kindness with kindness, helpfulness with helpfulness”. I invited her to stay at my house while she was here in the city. She happily accepted my invitation.

One afternoon at home, I asked her if she has forgiven her husband for abandoning her and their children for another woman. She said, “I have forgotten about it. I don’t think about it anymore.”

However, I felt the deep pain that was still in her heart. I told her to look at the coconut tree in front of my house. Then I told her to close her eyes. I asked her if the coconut tree is still there even if she does not see it anymore. She said, “Of course.”

Then I explained, “The pain in your heart when your husband left you and your husband is still there even when you say you do not think about it anymore. You can only leave the pain behind you when you have learned to forgive him.”

Perhaps she recalled that traumatic experience because her face began to look bitter. Quite emotionally, she replied, “How can I forgive him when he hasn’t even asked forgiveness? Do you expect me go to him and tell him that I have forgiven him?”

I calmly replied, “Do not tell him that you have forgiven him if he has not asked for forgiveness. It simply means that he has not yet clearly seen the gravity of his error. He might not see his error anymore if you forgive him prematurely. It is a different matter to just tell someone you have forgiven him and yet, there is still so much bitterness inside of you. It is entirely a different story when you forgive him in your heart. You should only forgive a person directly if he has repented and has asked for forgiveness. Forgiving a person in your heart concerns only yourself. So long as the bitterness in your heart remains, you cannot move forward in life as you should, for the bitterness is like a heavy load that pulls you down…it weakens the warmth of friendship you share and feel with your friends, it diminishes the love you give to your children, it lessens the brightness of your day and the peacefulness of your night. Try to look at that sad part of your past as an experience to learn from. Study the experience. Find out what went wrong and why you failed to correct the wrong things. Get the lessons to be learned, leave the pain behind and move on.

Always remember that the road ahead still has twists and turns, ups and downs. Use all the lessons you have learned from life to guide you. That way you make less mistakes. You will then have fewer sad experiences and more happy experiences. Move on, my friend, move on and…good luck!”

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 4

Which is More Important,

Intelligence or Character?

Nowadays,

…more and more marriages are breaking apart. I once talked to an old friend whom I had not seen for many years. “What went wrong with your marriage?” I asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she said. “My husband just told me one day that he didn’t love me anymore and that he was leaving me for another woman.”

“Did you do something seriously wrong? Did you treat him well?” I asked.

She said that she had honestly looked into herself whether she had done something seriously wrong to deserve abandonment. She swore she had not done any serious mistake and that she had been, in fact, a good wife.

“If that is the case,” I said, “then it is your husband who is at fault.” It is your husband who has a basic flaw in character. If I may ask, what important characteristic of your husband attracted you most?”

“It was his intelligence. He was an honor student and he talked intelligently on many matters.”

“And what about the goodness of character, is this not more important?”

“He was also good to me, especially when he was courting me. Besides, an intelligent man knows very well what is right and what is wrong,” she replied.

In pursuit of her logic, I continued, “He knew it was wrong to leave you and the children. He did it just the same. What lessons are to be learned here, my friend?”

She was silent for a while, then she said, “Obviously, knowing what is right and what is wrong is very different from doing what is right or wrong. The person who has goodness of character will most probably do the right thing than the brilliant guy.”

Then, I added, “Being intelligent, having a sharp mind, is like having a sharp knife. You can either use the sharp knife to cut vegetables and meat, cook a good meal, and feed many people, or you can use it to harm people. On the other hand, the goodness of character is an instrument to serve people. It is thus, a good thing. In comparing the two, the good thing is definitely superior to the neutral thing. My friend, it will be good if you can share this knowledge to your children. In our society, where wealth, power, and intelligence are considered the most important things to acquire, many people do not see that the truly most important thing to aspire for is the goodness of character. A basically good and honest person will try his best to live up to his promise that for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in plenty or in poverty, he will stand by you till the end.”

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 5

On Looking at

Beautiful Women

A good friend once discussed with me a frank issue.

“Let me ask you a straight question,” he said. “As you are now becoming more and more concerned with right and wrong, do you not at times look at beautiful women? At their faces and sexy bodies??”

I smiled. I was amused by his frankness and at our man’s talk. “Thank you for your candidness,” I replied. “When I see a beautiful woman, I cannot help but take a second look. You see, there are two ways of looking at a woman. One is to look at her with a lustful eye. Another is to look at her with a respectful and appreciative eye. Good artists have respectful and appreciative eyes. When they paint the faces and bodies of women, they see beauty in their symmetry, in their curves, in their proportions. They see the beauty in womanhood. Men with a lustful eye can never understand this.

“To develop an artist’s eye, which is actually looking at life with the eyes of the Soul, try to see other beautiful things and other creatures around you – the many interesting shapes of clouds, the bright colors and changing hues of sunrise and sunset, the various shapes, colors, texture, and smells of beautiful flowers, mountains, valleys, lakes, rivers, seas and great oceans, trees, birds, insects…the beauty of Mother Nature. Have you ever noticed the symmetry in the lines of a leaf? Have you ever noticed that some leaves are heart-shaped?

“Try to deepen your insight by thinking about the Great Hand that created such beauty and wonder. Such insight can lead you into knowing more about the Great Artist who made all these wonderful things and creatures. Such knowledge will help you to gradually see the beauty in the faces and bodies of women.

“If you have a lot of goodness in your heart, you will appreciate the beauty of trees for what they are. If your life is predominantly focused on getting more and more money, power and pleasures for the flesh, you will see the color of money in the trees you cut down….you will ravage the beauty of Mother Nature in the same way you ravage the beauty of women.

“There is also beauty in relationships between people who are genuinely concerned about each other’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth. There is beauty about people who have much respect, trust, care, and love for each other. The good parents’ deep concern for their children’s growth, the warm handshake of a true friend and the sincere offer of assistance when you need it most, the promise of a loved one that no matter what, you can count on him/her, or young men and women who work abroad and sacrifice so much to help their families, carry in themselves beauty that more than meets the eye.

“Remember how your mother cared for you when you were still a baby and a young child. Such is a beautiful moment in your life. Your mother is a woman. To develop an appreciative and a respectful eye is difficult but it is the right thing to aspire for. To have a lustful eye is so easy but it is the wrong thing to follow.

“I guess the somewhat surprised look on your face means that you find my answer quite different. Indeed, my friend, what is right is totally different from what is wrong. And the more you see the difference, the wiser you become.”

Notes on Life and Learning Lessons Chapter 6

Waiting for the

“Right Man” to Love

One day,

…a student enrolled in one of my classes requested me to read her palm. Since I was in a rush, I asked her what she wanted foremost to know. She told me to look first into her lovelife. After looking at the lines associated with this part of her life and cross-checking it with other sources, I told her that on her 26^th or 27^th year, she would meet someone who was an old flame. This man loved her once somewhere in the distant past.

Then she asked, “Ah, is he my soulmate?”

She looked very serious and I half-smiled at her. Then I replied, “Consider him one, among others, who crossed your path a few times, sometime, far back in time. In those few times that you met, at least in one lifetime, he loved you deeply.

“Will we get married?” she quickly followed up.

She was getting quite excited. I seriously answered, “The law of karma can only make you and him meet again at a certain point in time. The outcome of that meeting will definitely depend on your free will as well as on his. Such is the relationship between karma on one hand and free will on the other. Either you are scheduled to meet again to solve a problem between yourselves that has remained unsolved in a previous relationship from another lifetime or you meet again to continue an old happy love story which you have desired and have decided upon in another lifetime.”

She asked again, “But why so late, at 26 or 27? I am only 18 now and I cannot seem to wait that long.”

I paused for a while and thought about the strong tendency of young people nowadays to be impatient and impulsive. Then I told her, “In many cases, when we rush, we make mistakes. When we read a book too fast, we miss many important ideas. When we copy something too fast, we miss some words or copy wrongly. If we run too fast, the chances of tripping are higher. If we eat too fast, we get indigestion. The same is true for love. When you rush for it, when you give yourself to someone you barely know and get intimate with him right away, your chances of committing a mistake are very high. Chances are the man is only good at the beginning. Being fooled leaves a very deep wound in the heart and such a wound takes a long time to heal. It is good to be careful with matters of the heart. It is good to take time to know more of the man. So much happiness, as well as so much pain, depends on choosing the right man.”

Someone wisely said, “Take time to look for the right person as well as be the right person.”

I paused for a while, reflecting on why soulmates usually meet later in life. They meet, oftentimes, from the mid-20’s to the early 30’s.

“There is always a good reason why certain important things come to your life at a specific point in time. Perhaps, at more or less 26 to 27 years of age, both of you will be mature enough to discuss and resolve correctly certain important matters. Then the chances of successfully solving an old problem or successfully continuing an old beautiful love story are greater.

“The right person does not necessarily have to be your soulmate. Consider the fact that the last time you were together with your soulmate was many, many years ago. While you might have been very happy with him at that time, between then and now, many things also happened to him. Many things had happened to you. He could have changed. You could have changed. All people change. Some change for good, some, unfortunately, for worse. So, when you meet him now, use your mind first before listening to your heart. Remember, regardless of whether he is your soulmate or not, the right man is the one who is sincere in his intentions and who will try his best to make you happy. He will try his best to be a good husband to you and a good father to your children. Remember, the right man is anybody with the right character.”

She looked serious for a while. Then I told her I had to leave. She smiled and thanked me.